8 Tips to minimize stress

Written by : Latumahina 

Sometimes we may feel stressed or even depressed in life. Things can go wrong and not go as expected. While there may be other causes for such situations, I believe one important cause isunrealistic expectations.

Either they come from ourselves or from other people, unrealistic expectations cause us to ride mental roller-coaster. When we succeed, we will feel very happy or even ecstatic. But when we fail, we will feel very disappointed. Our mental condition goes up and down like a roller-coaster.

We need to avoid that, of course. Here are some tips on how to do it so that you can minimize stress and be content with our life:

1. Focus on actions rather than results

Focusing on results is a sure way to experience the ups and downs of emotional roller coaster. Even worse, there is not much you can do about it since you can’t control the results. So you should focus on something you can control instead, and one thing you can certainly control is your actions.

Instead of worrying about results, spend your time thinking about what to do and how to do it. The role of results is to give you feedback to refine your actions, but no more than that. Look at the results, get feedback to refine your actions, and then focus on the actions.

2. Have fun; don’t take things too seriously

We often take things too seriously to the point of being obsessed with them. Don’t do this. Instead, make everything you do fun. Having fun will certainly makes you less stressed while at the same time make the journey much more pleasant. One way to do so is by seeing things as games; something which are fun to do despite some winnings and loses. Another way to do it is by looking for hidden pleasures in whatever you do.

3. Don’t compare yourself with others

A study shows that we care more about how much money we have relative to everyone else than we do about how much money we have. It shows our tendency to compare ourselves with others.

But, similar to #1, you should look at others only to get feedback on how to do things better. Beyond that, comparing yourself with others will only do two things:

1. Make you down, if you are worse than them.
2. Boost your ego, if you are better than them. But this will only make the next failure more painful.

So learn something from others, set your goals, and refine your actions. Beyond that, don’t compare yourself with others.

4. Focus on being what you love rather than being loved

One reason why we feel stressed is we are worrying too much about what other people say about us. We are busy trying to meet other people’s expectations that we may end up living someone else’s life. Don’t focus on being loved; life is too short to be spent living someone else’s life. Instead, focus on being what you love. Cultivate your passions and do what really matters to you.

5. Cultivate abundance mentality

Scarcity mentality says that there is only limited amount of resources available so that other people’s gain is your loss. Having this mentality will make you stressed, especially when your peers become more successful than you. So, cultivate abundance mentality instead. Abundance mentality says that there is enough resources for everyone; someone else’s gain is not your loss. There is enough for everyone to prosper.

6. Make failure your friend

Failure is normal part of successful life. In fact, it is a friend of successful people. I love this quote by Thomas J. Watson:

Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure.

The more failure you make, the more likely it is that you will be successful. Make failure your friend, and it will be much easier for you to go through each one. Seeing things as games (see #2) is one way to make yourself comfortable with failure.

7. Look back and not just look ahead

Seeing how far we are from our goals may make us stressed, especially if our mind is occupied with it. So you need to also look back and see how far you have walked. What achievements have you got? What are your success stories? Remembering these will make you feel grateful for your current position in life.

8. Cultivate your enthusiasm

Enthusiasm makes you excited about life. It makes you excited about where you are now no matter how difficult the situation might seem. It energizes you to always do your best.

In fact, the ability to maintain enthusiasm despite failures and difficulties is an essential trait of successful people. As Winston Churchill said,

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

From: life optimizer.com

SJF LIFESTYLE is completely maintained by www.sanjosefinancials.com

How to relax yourself

If you are stressed out and need some time for yourself set aside sometime to pamper yourself. You will feel a lot better and more relaxed.

1. Run yourself a hot bath, but not too hot! Pregnant women should not take hot baths. Remove your jewelry and put it into a jewelry cleaner. Put your clothes into a laundry basket. Make sure the bath tub is very clean. No mess beats an organized clean living space. Do not stay in the bath for more than 20 minutes.
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   Dim the lights in your bathroom so it's darker or just go by candle light. Reflective glass, colored glass, and mirrors can be a huge help to add to the feel of a temple.
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   Get in the bath and forget all your worries. Take a waterproof pillow to support your head (bath pillows sold at many retailers). If you like, massage your scalp and neck touching acupressure points. Use an exfoliation brush to remove dead skin to show your beautiful glowing skin underneath that has just grown there like a fresh baby. Cleopatra put milk into her bath, some celebrities use wine, some use bath bombs, olive oil, coconut oil, etc. Do not ball your hair up when you wash it, use a wide tooth comb or your finger nails and gently massage your head. Do not make it tangled! It helps to have your bathroom scented with a slowly burning essential oil or by a oxygen rejuvenating machine that lets steam gently float around the room.
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   When you are feeling fully relaxed and clean get out of the bath and pat dry yourself with a big soft towel. Wax your legs or underarms if you prefer, it keeps the hair off longer. Rub a hair mask into your hair and use a warming face mask for the face. Afterward, use olive oil on the face rubbing your face gently.
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   Apply some nice lotion to make your skin feel soft. Princess Diana used almond oil while her skin was still wet. You can scent this oil with any pure essential oil scent. If you like, go back into a shower now to rinse off switching from hot to cold until your skin is rosy and pink. Afterwards, hop out and rub a thick lotion into your skin starting at the toes extending to the feet, ankles, calves, knees, under the thigh, the top of the thigh, the hips, the buttocks, the waist, the belly, the breasts, the collar bone, the neck, behind the neck, the shoulders, the back the arms, the elbow, the wrists, and from hand to hand massaging the hands. Roll your neck and stretch your back.
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   Put on some comfy pajamas and a dressing gown. Looking pretty in a gown helps, splurge on a nice dressing gown or pajamas. Dress for bed like you would dress for a ball.
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   Paint your nails and toenails. When they dry put a clear coat so the nail polish wont start chipping as quickly. Try coconut oil on your nails, it will help them grow and keep them nice. If you prefer, use a nail polish without the bad ingredients in it...you'll find at a health store. Trimming your nails keeps you from getting grime under the nail bed. Filing your nails works too.
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   Make yourself a nice hot drink e.g. hot chocolate. If you drink green tea, it has fluoride in it and will make your teeth whiter, plus, it's healthier. Add lemon to it and your body will absorb the calcium. Add honey to it and your body will absorb energy in terms of carbohydrates and sugars. If you drink hot chocolate go without milk like the Aztecs did and just drink the cocoa with hot water and some chili powder. It'll spice up your palate and be a good diuretic if you're constipated.
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   Drink your drink in bed. Have a bed in breakfast small table over you while you sip tea or another hot beverage or a smoothie veggie or fruit, nuts, eat a yummy salad with lots of color in it. Eat some grains if you like, maybe a flax muffin or "bliss balls." It's a good idea to use a silk or satin pillow as this will keep your hair from being damaged.
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    Watch TV or a film or listen to some relaxing music in your bed Try listening to an audio book or if you have someone who will read to you, it can be nice. A book tightly shut is just a block of paper. Maybe read an inspirational book, some Chinese proverbs, or reflect on your new year's goals. Write in your journal or diary. Keep it by your bedside to write in it in the morning so you can listen and pay attention to that inner voice using at least 3 pages of free writing. Place a hot heating pad under or over irritated muscles or joints. Rub chap stick into your soft lips. It's a good idea to chew on fruits, veggies, and nuts in the meanwhile.
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    When the film/music has finished turn off the TV/stereo. Turn on a light that makes it look like stars are on your ceiling and walls. It can be very calming to feel like a galaxy is in your bedroom. Soft star like lights are proven to help children sleep easier at night and get over fear of the dark. Keep a small fountain of flowing water by your bed, or fish swimming in a fish tank, and listen to the sound of the rustling water. Before you fall asleep, make sure you are not angry. If you must, cry and let it out. Do what you feel is best to not be angry before bed.
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    Turn out the lights in your bedroom and think of relaxing or calming thoughts until you fall asleep. Chamomile tea will help you sleep. Holding something will also help such as a long body pillow, a teddy bear, your pet animal, or your love. If you like, say a prayer.

The 2 major concepts of life.

by: unknown author

For the past few years, I've been sharing some of my thoughts and ideas about life to my family and friends. I just realize that maybe this might help people.

 Is it me or am I surrounded by people who are lucky but feel sad about the their life? The word " Life" per se is such a huge word. Everyone has their own meaning and own interpretation but in reality, What is life? how do you value it? is there a real meaning of life?

 If you will talk to a scientist, he may be technical and  tell you that life is a condition that distinguishes a living organism that has a capacity to grow,evolve and reproduce while the non living thing would be the reverse. While if you talk to a priest, he may tell you that this is a blessing from God.

 I come to realize that maybe we are putting the meaning of life in such a context that it became too complicated. Too many colorful ideas and thoughts that in reality life is just an evolution from the "big bang" that we were able to live. A mere spec of evolution.

 The problem with humanity is they are confused about life is because of 2 major concept. 1st is the monetary concept and 2nd would be the emotional concept. These 2 concepts gives color to the meaning of life that we equate life along with this 2, thus clouding the true meaning of it.

I'll give you an example. Let the vanilla coned ice cream be life while the dips would be the 2 external concepts. If i put the vanilla coned ice cream over the chocolate syrup, what will happen to the ice cream?
If you will use your 5 senses, you will tell me that the ice cream turned black but there is still some traces of while vanilla in it. Some will say it looks awful and yucky but in reality. It is still vanilla ice cream.

What does it show us? Life itself is boring. because life was created in a mere of spec, the time when "time" itself moved from T=0 to T=.00000001 where t=time. Human being gives color to life. We give other meaning and somehow, we are like captains that guides our individuality to where we want to put it.

 If we talk about life with an individual having problems monetarily, he/she may tell me that life is hard and the only way for him/her to enjoy life is having lots of money but the question is.. is money really life? does it really gives you meaning of life?

Now,let us talk about the other concept. The emotional concept. I for once may tell you that I was able to be a victim of this vicious idea that "love" gives meaning to an individual life but I as for one realize that "love" is a state of mind. I know some may react violently but if we take out our emotions and look beyond the reality of using our sense of understanding ,"love" is a state of mind which an individual enjoys any organic or non organic's company in self satisfaction.

 In reality, these 2 concepts may summarize the story of an individual. The concept of life in monetary state of mind and the concept of life in an emotional state of mind but when we start to distinguish that "life" is just a simple definition. Someone who breathes,evolves, grow and has the capacity to reproduce, we may realize that life is just life. We have only 1 life. Life that was given thru us by evolution which started from protons,electrons and neutrons.

 If you come to realize some things, not only humans are connected but every single living and non living thing is connected.Everything came from a molecular reaction which moved time.

 If humans start to accept the fact and realize that the we focus mostly on the illusion of life rather than living the true meaning of it, we may come to enlightenment that we are just a mere spec of dust in the universe. That we are not the center of the universe but we are part of it. A part of a greater collection of living organism which evolved from billions of years.

 No one even got the evidence that God even exist. It may be a concept on how humanity maintain its sanity of life but what if the concept of life after death is something a hoax? Something that gives meaning to an individual? Something like a chocolate syrup that gives color and texture to a boring life.

 What if life itself is just 1 and it was too late for us to realize that we limit ourselves due to fear. Fear of the unknown or fear of cultural jurisdiction. To be judged by people due to their cultural norms and not based on life per se.

 What if everyone realizes that life is just simple and the law of nature tells us that end of the day, everyone dies and its normal for humans to feel scared with this reality that we created the concept of religion.

 No one would ever know the real secret of life but there is one thing for sure, The we only have 1 life. Whichever concept and ideas you choose, always remember that life is just simple. We are all part of the universe. That there is no human bigger than other humans because in reality, we are all a spec of dust in the big universe in our planet earth that we call home.

 So why stop yourself in living life if you can just go out a live.

 To end this blog, I would like to say that life is full of complication but nature created life in simple ways. Creation and Destruction, alpha and omega. birth and death. So enjoy until you can. We only have 1.